短句子网1.英语幽默短句100个
1. Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa.
钞票不是万能的，毕竟有时还需要信用卡。
2. One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。
3. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
要节约用水，所以尽量和女友一起洗澡。
4. Love the neighbor. But don't get caught.
要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。
5. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more.
每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个或更多。
6. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，毕竟幸福不是永久的嘛。
7. The wise never marry,and when they marry they become otherwise..
聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。
8. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
成功是一个相关名词，它会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。
9. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
10. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
爱情就像照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。
2.英语幽默短句
1) I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
我爱你，不是因为你是一个怎样的人，而是因为我喜欢与你在一起时的感觉。
2) No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
没有人值得你流泪，值得让你这么做的人不会让你哭泣。
3) The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
失去某人，最糟糕的莫过于，他近在身旁，却犹如远在天边。
4) Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
纵然伤心，也不要愁眉不展，因为你不知是谁会爱上你的笑容。
5) To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
对于世界而言，你是一个人；但是对于某个人，你是他的整个世界。
6) Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
不要为那些不愿在你身上花费时间的人而浪费你的时间。
7) Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
爱你的人如果没有按你所希望的方式来爱你，那并不代表他们没有全心全意地爱你。
8) Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
不要着急，最好的总会在最不经意的时候出现。
9) Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
在遇到梦中人之前，上天也许会安排我们先遇到别的人；在我们终于遇见心仪的人时，便应当心存感激。
10) Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
不要因为结束而哭泣，微笑吧，为你的曾经拥有。
3.求英文幽默简短的句子
The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn?
Your future depends on your dreams. So go to sleep. <；强推>
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. <；强推这句>
Hard work never killed anybody. But why take the risk?
Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
够暸吗？
4.英语幽默短句
Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa. 钞票不是万能的，毕竟有时还需要信用卡。
One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。 Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水，所以尽量和女友一起洗澡。
Love the neighbor. But don't get caught. 要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。 Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more. 每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。
每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个或更多。 Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，毕竟幸福不是永久的嘛。
The wise never marry. 聪明人都是未婚的。 Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一个相关名词，它会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。
Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。 Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 爱情就像照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后座上的小孩会生出意外，后座上的意外会生出小孩。 "Your future depends on your dreams."So go to sleep. 现在的梦想决定着你的将来，所以，还是再睡一会吧。
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 应该有更好的方式开始新的一天，而不是千篇一律地在每个上午都醒来。 "Hard work never killed any body."But why take the risk？ 努力工作不会导致死亡。
但为什么要冒险呢？。
5.幽默英语小短语,急用啊~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
英汉对照幽默小短语 Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa. 钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡. One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃. Love the neighbor. But don't get caught. 要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two. 每个成功男人的背后都有一个女人，每个不成功男人的背后都有两个女人。
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛. The wise never marry, and when they marry they become otherwise. 聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一个相关名词，他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚（联系）. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 不要等明天交不上差再找借口， 今天就要找好. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 爱情就象照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养. Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children. 后排座位上的小孩会生出意外， 后排座位上的意外会生出小孩. "Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep. "现在的梦想决定着你的将来"，所以还是再睡一会吧. There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning. 应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来. "Hard work never kills anybody." But why take the risk？ " 努力工作不会导致死亡！"不过我不会用自己去证明. "Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours！ " 工作好有意思耶！"尤其是看着别人工作. God made relatives; Thank God we can choose our friends. 神决定了谁是你的亲戚，幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给了你留了余地。 When two's company, three's the result！ 两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是！ A dress is like a barbed fence. It protects the premises without restricting the view. 服饰就象铁丝网，它阻止你冒然行动，但并不妨碍你尽情地观看. The more you learn, the more you know, The more you know, the more you forget. The more you forget, the less you know. So why bother to learn. 学的越多，知道的越多， 知道的越多；忘记的越多， 忘记的越多；知道的越少， 为什么学来着？。
6.简短的英语小笑话
A Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。”
A German robber was taken to the court. Judge:Can you speak English? Robber:A little. Judge:What can you speak? Robber:Give me all your money？ 一个德国抢劫犯被带到法庭。 法官：你会讲英语吗？ 抢劫犯：会一点儿。
法官：你会讲什么？ 抢劫犯：把你的钱统统交出来！ Much Worse 那就更糟了 Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch? Man: If I had opened my mouth, they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse. 警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？ 男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。
Two birls Teacher: Here are two birds, one is a swallow, the other is sparrow. Now who can tell us which is which? Student: I cannot point out but I know the answer. Teacher: Please tell us. Student: The swallow is beside the sparrow and the sparrow is beside the swallow. 两只鸟 老师： 这儿有两只鸟，一只是麻雀。谁能指出哪只是燕子，哪只是麻雀吗？ 学生：我指不出，但我知道答案。
老师：请说说看。 学生：燕子旁边的就是麻雀，麻雀旁边的就是燕子。
7.超简短 英语笑话带翻译
你好！
Snorer
瞌睡者
The preacher was vexed because a certain member of his congregation always fell asleep during the sermon.
牧师非常生气，因为总有一个人在他说教时打瞌睡。
As the man was snoring in the front row one Sunday, the preacher determined he would teach him not to sleep during the sermon. So, in a whisper, he asked the congregation. "All who want to go to heaven, please rise." Everyone got up except the snorer. After whispering "Be seated", the minister shouted at the top of his voiced, "All those who want to be with the devil, please rise."
一个星期天，正当坐在前排的那个人又在瞌睡时，牧师决定要好好教育他一下，让他不要再在布道时睡觉。于是他低声对信徒们说：“想去天堂的人，都请站起来吧。”所有的人都站了起来——当然，除了那个打瞌睡的人。在低声说过请坐后，牧师高声喊道：“想去下地狱的人请站起来！”
Awaking with a start, the sleepy-head jumped to his feet and saw the preacher standing tall and angry in the pulpit, "Well, sir," he said, "I don't know what we're voting on, but it looks like you and me are the only ones for it."
打瞌睡的人被这突然的喊叫声惊醒了，他站了起来。看到牧师高站在教坛上，正生气的看着他。这个人说道：“噢，先生，我不知道我们在选什么，但看上去只有你和我是候选人。”
百度教育团队【海纳百川团】为您解答
如满意，请点击“选为满意答案”按钮，谢谢~
8.听起来有趣的英语短句
1. Never trouble trouble till trouble troubles you。
麻烦没来找你，就别去自找麻烦。
第一、四个trouble是动词，第二、三个trouble是名词。
2. I think that that that that that student wrote on the blackboard was wrong.
我认为那个学生写在黑板上的那个“that”是错误的。
第一个that是连词，引起宾语从句；第二、五个that是指示代词“那个”；第三个that在这儿相当于名词；第四个that是关系代词，引起定语从句。
3. I know. You know. I know that you know. I know that you know that I know。
我知道。你知道。我知道你知道。我知道你知道我知道。
4. We must hang together, or we'll be hanged separately。
我们必须团结在一起，否则我们将被一个个绞死。
这是一句双关语。前面的hang together是“团结一致”的意思，后面的hanged是“绞死”的意思。
5. The quick brown fox jumps over a lazy dog。
那只敏捷的棕色狐狸跳过了一只懒惰的狗。
这个句子包含了英语中的26个字母。
6. Was it a bar or a bat I saw?
我看到的是酒吧还是蝙蝠？
这是一句回文句，顺着读和倒着读是一样的。类似于“上海自来水来自海上。”
7. 上联： To China for china, China with china, dinner on china。
去中国买瓷器，中国有瓷器，吃饭靠瓷器。
下联：到前门买前门，前门没前门，后门有前门。
这是一副对仗工整、妙趣横生的英汉对联。下联中的第二、四、五个“前门”指“大前门”香烟。
8. 2B or not 2B, that is a ?
这是一种文字简化游戏。它的意思是：To be or not to be, that is a question. （生存还是毁灭，那是一个问题。）
9. He never saw a saw saw a saw。
他从来没见过一把锯子锯另一把锯子。
第一个saw是动词see的过去时，第二和第四个saw带有不定冠词"a"在前，是名词"锯子"，第三个saw是动词"锯"。
9.非常简短的英语幽默故事
来源：百度知道?device=mobile&ssid=0&from=844b&uid=0&pu=sz@1320_1001,ta@iphone_2_4.4_3_534,usm@0&bd_page_type=1&baiduid=CCAE0DB84F88E4910912958F79AD987B&tj=2Fl_1_0_10_titleBig Head“All the kids make fun of me”the boy cried to his mother.“They say I have a big head”“Don't listen to them.”his mother comforted him.“You have a beautiful head .Now stop crying and go to the store for ten pounds of potatoes”“Where's the shopping bag?”“I haven't got one,use your hat.”大脑袋“所有的孩子都拿我开玩笑，”小男孩哭着跟妈妈说：“他们说我长了一个大脑袋。”
“别听他们的，”他妈妈安慰说：“你的脑袋长得很漂亮。好了，别哭了，去商店买10磅土豆来。”
“购物袋在哪？”“我没有购物袋，就用你的帽子吧。” Good Boy Little Robert asked his mother for two cents. "What did you do with the money I gave you yesterday?" "I gave it to a poor old woman," he answered. "You're a good boy," said the mother proudly. "Here are two cents more. But why are you so interested in the old woman?" "She is the one who sells the candy." 好孩子 小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。
“昨天给你的钱干什么了？” “我给了一个可怜的老太婆，”他回答说。 “你真是个好孩子，”妈妈骄傲地说。
“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢？” “她是个卖糖果的。”
Where is the father? Two brothers were looking at some beautiful paintings. "Look," said the elder brother. "How nice these paintings are!" "Yes," said the younger, "but in all these paintings there is only the mother and the children. Where is the father?" The elder brother thought for a moment and then explained, "Obviously he was painting the pictures." 父亲在哪儿？ 兄弟俩在看一些漂亮的油画。 “看，”哥哥说，“这些画多漂亮呀！” “是啊，”弟弟说道，“可是在所有这些画中，只有妈妈和孩子。
那爸爸去哪儿了呢？” 哥哥想了会儿，然后解释道：“很明显，他当时正在画这些画呗。”。
