短句子网1.英语幽默短句100个
1. Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa. 钞票不是万能的，毕竟有时还需要信用卡。
2. One should love animals. They are so tasty. 每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。 3. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend. 要节约用水，所以尽量和女友一起洗澡。
4. Love the neighbor. But don't get caught. 要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。 5. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more. 每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。
每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个或更多。 6. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life. 再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，毕竟幸福不是永久的嘛。
7. The wise never marry,and when they marry they become otherwise.. 聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。 8. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives. 成功是一个相关名词，它会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。
9. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today. 不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。 10. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop. 爱情就像照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。
2.英语幽默短句100个
1. Money is not everything. There's Mastercard and Visa.
钞票不是万能的，毕竟有时还需要信用卡。
2. One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。
3. Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
要节约用水，所以尽量和女友一起洗澡。
4. Love the neighbor. But don't get caught.
要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。
5. Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two or more.
每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个或更多。
6. Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，毕竟幸福不是永久的嘛。
7. The wise never marry,and when they marry they become otherwise..
聪明人都是未婚的，结婚的人很难再聪明起来。
8. Success is a relative term. It brings so many relatives.
成功是一个相关名词，它会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。
9. Never put off the work till tomorrow what you can put off today.
不要等明天交不上差再找借口，今天就要找好。
10. Love is photogenic. It needs darkness to develop.
爱情就像照片，需要大量的暗房时间来培养。
3.跪求有趣的英文句子,如Canyoucanacanasacannercancanacan
1.Can you can a can as a canner can can a can？你能够像罐头工人一样装罐头吗？2.I wish to wish the wish you wish to wish,but if you wish the wish the witch wishes,I won't wish the wish you wish to wish.我希望梦想着你梦想中的梦想，但是如果你梦想着女巫的梦想，我就不想梦想着你梦想中的梦想.3.I scream,you scream,we all scream for ice-cream！我叫喊，你叫喊，我们都喊着要冰淇淋！4.How many cookies could a good cook cook if a good cook could cook cookies?A good cook could cook as much cookies as a good cook who could cook cookies.如果一个好的厨师能做小甜饼，那么他能做多少小甜饼呢？一个好的厨师能做出和其它好厨师一样多的小甜饼.5.The driver was drunk and drove the doctor's car directly into the deep ditch.这个司机喝醉了，他把医生的车开进了一个大深沟里.6.Whether the weather be fine or whether the weather be not.Whether the weather be cold or whether the weather be hot.We'll weather the weather whether we like it or not.无论是晴天或是阴天.无论是冷或是暖，不管喜欢与否，我们都要经受风霜雨露.7.Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers.A peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked.If Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers,Where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked？彼德派柏捏起一撮泡菜.彼德派柏捏起的是一撮泡菜.那么彼德派捏起的泡菜在哪儿？8.I thought a thought.But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought.If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought,I wouldn't have thought so much.我有一种想法，但是我的这种想法不是我曾经想到的那种想法.如果这种想法是我曾经想到的想法，我就不会想那么多了.9.Amid the mists and coldest frosts,With barest wrists and stoutest boasts,He thrusts his fists against the posts,And still insists he sees the ghosts.雾蒙蒙，冰霜冻，手腕儿空空，话儿涌，只见他猛所拳头往柱子上砸，直说自己把鬼碰.10.Badmin was able to beat Bill at billiards,but Bill always beat Badmin badly at badminton.巴德明在台球上能够打败比尔，但是打羽毛球比尔常常大败巴德明.11.Betty beat a bit of butter to make a better butter.贝蒂敲打一小块黄油要做一块更好的奶油面.12.Rita repeated what Reardon recited when Reardon read the remarks.当里尔登读评论时，丽塔重复里尔登背诵的东西.13.Few free fruit flies fly from flames.没有几只果蝇从火焰中飞过去.14.Fifty-five flags freely flutter from the floating frigate.五十五面旗子在轻轻漂浮的战舰上自由的飘扬.15.There is no need to light a night light on a light night like tonight.for a bright night light is just like a slight light.像今夜这样明亮的夜晚，就不需要点一盏夜灯，因为明亮的夜灯也会变得微弱.17.A pleasant peasant keeps a pleasant pheasant and both the peasant and the pheasant are having a pleasant time together.一位和气的农民养了一只伶俐的野鸡，而且这位和气的农民和这只伶俐的野鸡在一起度过了一段很美好的时光18.How many sheets could a sheet slitter slit if a sheet slitter could slit sheets？如果裁纸机能裁纸的话，一个裁纸机能裁多少张纸呢？19.Mr.See owned a saw and Mr.Soar owned a seesaw.Now See's saw sawed Soar's seesaw before Soar saw See.西先生有一个锯，萨先生有一个秋千.现在在萨先生看见西先生之前，西先生的锯锯断了萨先生的秋千.20.If you're keen on stunning kites and cunning stunts,buy a cunning stunning stunt kite.如果你非常相要好的风筝和精彩的表演，就去买一只漂亮的，灵巧的风筝吧.21.Ted sent Fred ten hens yesterday so Fred's fresh bread is ready already.特德昨天给弗莱德送去了十只母鸡，所以弗莱德的新鲜面包已经准备好了.22.A Finnish fisher named Fisher failed to fish any fish one Friday afternoon and finally he found out a big fissure in his fishing net.一个名叫费希尔的芬兰渔民在一个星期五的下午未能捕捉到任何鱼，结果他民现他的渔网上有一个大裂口.23.Franc's father is frying French fries for his five fire-fighter friends after they finished a fire-fighting in a factory.在结束对一家工厂的灭火战斗以后，弗兰克的父亲在为他的五个消防队员朋友炸制法式土豆（炸薯条）。
4.能给几个搞笑又经典的英文句子
The nice men are ugly.好男人不帅。
The handsome men are not nice.帅男人不好。The handsome and nice men are gay.又帅又好的男人是同性恋。
The handsome, nice and heterosexual men are married.又帅又好又不是同性恋的男人都结婚了。Men who are not so handsome but are nice men have no money.不是很帅但是很好的男人却没有钱。
The men who are not so handsome but are nice men with money think we are only after their money.不是很帅但是又好又有钱的男人会认为我们看上的是他们的钱。The handsome men without money are after our money.而没有钱但是很帅的男人看上的是我们的钱。
The handsome men, who are not so nice and some what heterosexual don't think we are beautiful enough.不是很好但是很帅又是异性恋的男人却嫌我们不够漂亮。The men who think we are beautiful, that are heterosexual, somewhat nice and have money are cowards.又好又有钱又是异性恋又觉得我们漂亮的男人却又没胆量。
The men who are somewhat handsome, somewhat nice and have some money and thank God are heterosexual are shy and NEVER MAKE THE FIRST MOVE！又好又帅又有点钱而且是个异性恋的男人偏偏害羞而且从不采取行动。The men who never make the first move, automatically lose interest on us when we take the initiative.那些从不主动的男人一旦我们采取主动就对我们失去兴趣。
NOW。WHO IN THE HELL UNDERSTaNDS MEN？现在。
到底有谁了解男人这东西？。
5.幽默的英文句子
【第一条】英文：Examination and many children, so that the number of honest learned cheating.中文：考试害了多少个孩子，让多少诚实的孩子学会了作弊。
【第二条】英文：For beautiful eyes, on the line, and told myself, my wife than they were.中文：对于美女，看两眼就行，转身告诉自己，我老婆比她们都好。【第三条】英文：Did you find, those who hate you, looks very ugly.中文：你有没有发现，那些讨厌你的人，长得都特别丑。
【第四条】英文：Since I will play QQ, I found my pinyin is getting better and better, the study did not have this effect.中文：自从会玩QQ后，我发现我拼音越来越好了，读书都没这效果。【第五条】英文：I have a flirt with hot chicks ability, but he is a girl.中文：我空有一身泡妞的本事，可惜自己是个妞。
【第六条】英文：I do not smoke cigarettes, is not lonely, second-hand smoke！中文：我抽的不是烟，也不是寂寞，是二手烟！【第七条】英文：Examination of people rely on strength, and I rely on the rich imagination.中文：考试有人靠的是实力，而我靠的是丰富的想象力。【第八条】英文：Abroad: Thought and ability is the key, the domestic: relationship and can run.中文：国外：思想和才能才是王道，国内：关系和马屁才能横行。
【第九条】英文：The teacher said to hear and fine, I know he's salary.中文：听到老师说又要开始罚钱，我就知道是他工资花完了。【第十条】英文：The man called the romantic love rich, rich in the coquettish woman.中文：男人情史丰富那叫风流，女人情史丰富那叫风骚。
【第十一条】英文：One, two people, three person is to fight at outrance.中文：一个人快活，两个人生活，三个人就是你死我活。【第十二条】英文：Grandpa Mao said, not to marry for the purpose of making object is bullying.中文：毛爷爷说，不以结婚为目的的搞对象都是耍流氓。
【第十三条】英文：Brother, you have to face the resolution is good？中文：大哥，把你脸上的分辨率调低点好吗？【第十四条】英文：In heaven there is no white out the pie, but white out the bricks.中文：天上没有白掉的馅饼，倒有白掉的砖头。【第十五条】英文：Ideals are like the pants, have, but not everyone can go to prove that you have！中文：理想就像内裤，要有，但不能逢人就去证明你有！【第十六条】英文：More to their fucking great time also can not compare with idiot years.中文：再多各自牛逼的时光 也比不上一起傻逼的岁月。
【第十七条】英文：Thinking of how far, how far you roll; light how fast, how fast you roll.中文：思想有多远，你就滚多远；光速有多快，你就滚多快。【第十八条】英文：Chinese two big characteristics: one, don't love the truth; two, do not want to hear the truth.中文：中国人就两大特点：一，不爱说实话；二，不爱听实话。
【第十九条】英文：You look very Chinese, very dedicated, very backbone.中文：你长的很爱国，很敬业，很有骨气。【第二十条】英文：Germany is the only woman, I think I must be too mean.中文：女子无才便是德，我想我一定是太缺德了。
【第二十一条】英文：If you don't like brother talk about conscience, I did not, a few days just donated.中文：你丫别跟哥谈良心，哥没有，上几天刚捐了。【第二十二条】英文：Go go go, don't waste the youth the two words, you are already the beginning of autumn.中文：去去去，别糟蹋青春那两字了，你都已经立秋了。
【第二十三条】英文：Women have two mouths, a mouth is a, a mouth to eat.中文：女人有俩张嘴，一张嘴道是非，一张嘴会吃人。【第二十四条】英文：In fact, the day classes can be short, the computer opening and closing the past.中文：其实，一天班可短暂了，电脑一开一关就过去了。
【第二十五条】英文：You have learned at school all forget, the rest is quality.中文：把你们在学校所学的知识统统忘掉，剩下的就是素质。【第二十六条】英文：Living half are bad luck, the other half is how to handle it.中文：活的一半是倒霉，另一半是如何处理倒霉。
【第二十七条】英文：Life can not cook, all the materials are ready was the pot.中文：人生不能像做菜，把所有的料都准备好才下锅。【第二十八条】英文：First scroll: Live meaningless, the second line of a couplet: Dutch act no courage, horizontal batch: white go back.中文：上联：活着没意义，下联：自杀没勇气，横批：白走一回。
【第二十九条】英文：My principle is: the person does not make me, I do not prisoners; if the person make me, I will get angry！中文：我的原则是：人不犯我，我不犯人；人若犯我，我就生气！【第三十条】英文：After today, do not meet again, I am afraid to wake up every day to beat you many times.中文：过完了今天，就不要再见面，我害怕每天醒来揍你好几遍。【第三十一条】英文：What I want, is shameless. What to eat, is not lose.中文：我什么都要，。
6.能给几个搞笑又经典的英文句子
先给几个：
Money is not everything. There's Mastercard & Visa.
钞票不是万能的，有时还需要信用卡。
One should love animals. They are so tasty.
每个人都应该热爱动物，因为它们很好吃。
Behind every successful man, there is a woman. And behind every unsuccessful man, there are two.
每个成功男人的背后，都有一个女人。每个不成功男人的背后，都有两个。
Every man should marry. After all, happiness is not the only thing in life.
再快乐的单身汉迟早也会结婚，幸福不是永久的嘛。
"Your future depends on your dreams." So go to sleep.
“现在的梦想决定着你的将来”，所以还是再睡一会吧。
There should be a better way to start a day than waking up every morning.
应该有更好的方式开始新一天，而不是千篇一律的在每个上午都醒来。
"Hard work never killed anybody." But why take the risk? "
“努力工作不会导致死亡！”不过我不会用自己去证明。
"Work fascinates me." I can look at it for hours! "
“工作好有意思耶！”尤其是看着别人工作。
When two's company, three's the result!
两个人的状态是不稳定的，三个人才是！
最后给几个无敌的：
Children in backseats cause accidents. Accidents in backseats cause children.
后排座位上的小孩会生出意外，后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。
Save water. Shower with your girlfriend.
要节约用水，尽量和女友一起洗澡。
Love the neighbor. But don't get caught.
要用心去爱你的邻居，不过不要让她的老公知道。
^_^请笑纳
7.英文句子搞笑谐音中文
Room out high people 世外高人
When the moonhas its ownlook up 明月几时有 自己抬头瞅
I am not a casual person,but it is not people casually 我不是随便的人，但随便起来就不是人
Other people's road,let others have no way out. 走别人的路，让别人无路可走
Water to pure have no fish,people are invincible to 水至清则无鱼，人至贱则无敌
Give me a girl,Ican create a nation 给我一个姑娘，我可以创造一个民族
I want to love,butalready late. 我想早恋，但是已经晚了
Money is not a problem,the problem is no money 钱不是问题，问题是没钱
够不够呢 ，，嗯哼？！
8.急需100句有趣的英语句子（有翻译）
a bird in the hand is worth two the bush 一鸟在手，胜似二鸟在林 a blank slate 干净的黑板（新的一页，新的开始） a bone to pick 可挑剔的骨头（争端，不满） a cat nap 打个盹儿 a chip off the old block 大木头上砍下来的小木片（子肖其父） a chip on one's shoulder 肩头的木片（自卑感，因为自卑而爱找别人麻烦；喜欢向人挑衅） a ouch potato 躺椅上的马铃薯（懒鬼） a cake walk 走去吃糕（易事） a headache 头痛（麻烦事） a knock out 击倒（美得让人倾倒） a load off my mind 心头大石落地 a nut 傻子，疯子 a pain in the neck 脖子疼（苦事） a piece of cake 一块蛋糕（小菜一碟，易事一件） a pig 猪猡 a shot in the dark 盲目射击（瞎猜） a short fuse 引线短（脾气火爆） a sinking ship 正在下沉的船 a slam dunk 灌篮（轻而易举的事） a slap in the face 脸上挨了一耳光（公然受辱） a smoke screen 烟幕 a social butterfly 社交蝴蝶（善于交际，会应酬的人） a stick in the mud 烂泥中的树枝 a thick skin 厚脸皮 a thorn in someone's side 腰上的荆棘（芒刺在背） a turn coat 反穿皮袄的人（叛徒） an uphill battle 上坡作战（在逆境中求胜） a weight off my shoulders 放下肩头重担 ace 得满分（得到完美的结果） all ears 全是耳朵（洗耳恭听） all thumbs 满手都是大拇指（笨手笨脚） an ace up my sleeve 袖里的王牌 an open and shut case明显的事件 ants in one's pants 裤裆里有蚂蚁（坐立不安） back in the saddle重上马鞍（重整旗鼓） back on track重上轨道（改过自新） backfire逆火（弄巧成拙，适得其反） ball and chain 铁球铁链，甜蜜的枷（老婆） beat a dead horse 鞭打死马令其奔驰（徒劳） beaten by the ugly stick 被丑杖打过（生得难看） beggar can't be choosers 讨饭的谈不上挑三拣四 bet on it 下这一注稳赢（有把握，无疑）bet your life 把命赌上（绝对错了） better half 我的另一半 between a rack and a hard place 进退维谷（前有狼后有虎） big headed 大脑袋（傲慢，自大） bigger fish to fry 有更大的鱼要炸（有更重要的事要办） bite off more than one can chew 贪多嚼不烂 bite the bullet 咬子弹（强忍痛苦） birds of a feather flock together 羽毛相同的鸟总飞成一群（物以类聚） blow up in you face 在眼前爆炸（事情完全弄砸了） bologna 胡说，瞎说 break a let 折断一条腿（表演真实，演出成功） break the ice 破冰（打破僵局） bright聪明，灵光 brown nose 讨好，谄媚 bug somebody 使人讨厌 bull in a china shop 瓷器店里的蛮牛（笨拙的人，动辄弄坏东西的人） bump into 撞上（巧遇） burn brides 烧桥（过河拆桥） burst your bubble 扎破泡泡（打破人的幻想，煞风景） bury one's head in the sand把头埋在沙里（自欺欺人） butterfingers奶油手指（抓不稳东西的人） butterflies in my stomach肚里有只蝴蝶（心里紧张，七上八下） buy the farm买下农场（归道山，死了） call it a night一日事毕，可以睡觉了 can't teach an old dog new tricks老狗学不会新把戏 cash in my chips兑换筹码（睡觉，就寝） chicken鸡（胆小鬼） circle the wagons把篷车围成一圈（严阵以待） clean up one's act自我检点，自我改进 come down in bucket倾盆大雨 come down in sheets整片整片地下（倾盆大雨） cool your lips冷静下来 cost someone an arm and a leg要花上一条胳膊一条腿（代价昂贵） count on something /doing something 这事靠得住 count your chickens before they hatch 蛋还没孵化，先数小鸡 crock 破瓦片（无用之物，废话） cross the line 跨过线（做得太过分了） cross that bridge when we come to it 到了桥头就过桥（船到桥头自然直） cry over spilled milk 为泼了牛奶而哭（为过去的失败而懊丧cushion the blow 给垫着点儿（说话绵软一点，以免打太重） cut to the chase 抄捷径去追猎物（不绕圈子，开门见山，单刀直入） daily grind 例行苦事，每天得干的苦工 days are numbered 来日无多 dead center 正当中 deadend street 死路，死巷子 A bad beginning makes a bad ending. 不善始者不善终。
A bad thing never dies. 遗臭万年。 A bad workman always blames his tools. 不会撑船怪河弯。
A bird in the hand is worth than two in the bush. 一鸟在手胜过双鸟在林。 A boaster and a liar are cousins-german. 吹牛与说谎本是同宗。
A bully is always a coward. 色厉内荏。 A burden of one's choice is not felt. 爱挑的担子不嫌重。
A candle lights others and consumes itself. 蜡烛照亮别人，却毁灭了自己。 A cat has 9 lives. 猫有九条命。
A cat may look at a king. 猫也可以打量国王，意为人人平等。 A close mouth catches no flies. 病从口入。
A constant guest is never welcome. 常客令人厌。 Actions speak louder than words. 事实胜于雄辩。
Adversity leads to prosperity. 穷则思变。 Adversity makes a man wise, not rich. 逆境出人才。
A fair death honors the whole life. 死得其所，流芳百世。 A faithful friend is hard to find. 知音难觅。
A fall into a pit, a gain in your wit. 吃一堑，长一智。 A fox may grow gray, but never。
9.英语幽默短句
1) I love you not because of who you are, but because of who I am when I am with you.
我爱你，不是因为你是一个怎样的人，而是因为我喜欢与你在一起时的感觉。
2) No man or woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.
没有人值得你流泪，值得让你这么做的人不会让你哭泣。
3) The worst way to miss someone is to be sitting right beside them knowing you can't have them.
失去某人，最糟糕的莫过于，他近在身旁，却犹如远在天边。
4) Never frown, even when you are sad, because you never know who is falling in love with your smile.
纵然伤心，也不要愁眉不展，因为你不知是谁会爱上你的笑容。
5) To the world you may be one person, but to one person you may be the world.
对于世界而言，你是一个人；但是对于某个人，你是他的整个世界。
6) Don't waste your time on a man/woman, who isn't willing to waste their time on you.
不要为那些不愿在你身上花费时间的人而浪费你的时间。
7) Just because someone doesn't love you the way you want them to, doesn't mean they don't love you with all they have.
爱你的人如果没有按你所希望的方式来爱你，那并不代表他们没有全心全意地爱你。
8) Don't try so hard, the best things come when you least expect them to.
不要着急，最好的总会在最不经意的时候出现。
9) Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be grateful.
在遇到梦中人之前，上天也许会安排我们先遇到别的人；在我们终于遇见心仪的人时，便应当心存感激。
10) Don't cry because it is over, smile because it happened.
不要因为结束而哭泣，微笑吧，为你的曾经拥有。
